To be honest, I am not sure if it is hormones, teenager brain, being a girl, or just life that makes me feel the way I do. I feel like my emotions are all over the place. There are times I am so happy and hyper with no care in the world and there are other times where I feel like I am going no where in life. I guess I am trying to say that there are way too much emotions involved when I do things. I feel that things are getting complex and complicated as I am growing up.
I am growing up way too fast. Or at least it seems like. I guess a lot of people see it as a good thing. Getting out of the house. Finding a place. Choosing a college that it 500 miles away from home and living alone. Unfortunately, not me. I am scared out of my FREAKING mind to get out of my house!! Let's face it. I can't even get of the house without making sure that the neighbor's cat is not in the front porch! I am not one of those people who can free fall and hope to land on solid ground. I am one of those anti-rollercoaster-sit-in-a-cocoon-get-away-from-creepy-people kinda gal. I am the last person to take risks. I avoid stages, skydivers, talking in front of people, talking TO people as much as I can because I like to play it safe. However, these days I am realizing that I can't live in my parents' house forever. I have to get out there and actually figure it out. I have to decide what I want to do with my life. I have to take risks and hope that I fall on solid ground. I also realized that if I do make a mess, then I will just have to learn from it and make better choices. I guess it is one of the most scariest and the most exciting thing that life has to offer. The unknown. Not knowing what exactly you are doing but hoping that your faith and the things that you have learned will kick in. As scared as I am, I feel like somehow things are going to work out. Hopefully it does :)
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